Reverb

down to live

nothing in life ever makes sense. it always seems to snowball to a big yarnball of confusion near the end of the year. everytime you try to pull out that single strand and unravel things it seems like it just gets worse and even more tangled.

when you try so hard to do everything right but everything that happens around you seems to be right for everyone but yourself — that sucks. knowing that you’ve made things better for someone else is always a nice feeling…even if it passes unnoticed. what hurts is when it’s noticed and unappreciated. that takes purpose and determination.

you try to believe that there’s so much good in people but it’s situations like this that make you wonder how much of it is just a facade. a filthy sham of a bad broadway production. why “act as if” if you’re not just “gonna be”. perhaps we’d all be better off if everyone had the inability to think about themselves. i never realized how selfish some people can be.

i can’t blame anyone but myself though, for being so blind and believing that other people could change. i was starting to slowly believe in the ability to change again…however that quickly burst when i started seeing so many friends around me getting the short end of the stick.

i’ve just realized that it’s just a matter of time when people revert to the way they are / were. it’s never change…it’s always people adapt…they adapt to please you until they get what they want…then the true colours start shining through…it’s the whole natural selfishness that they just can’t control.

it’s natural and everyone suffers from it..it’s part of self preservation and can’t be completely avoided, but i am glad to say that i’m lucky enough to know quite a few people who have the strength to push the whole selfish part of things away….and are some of the most self-less people i know.

however on the flip side i’m quite sad to see a handful of people i care about who have sunk into that pit of going after what they want to such a point that they’re hurting people that care about them…

i wish i didn’t know half the things i did about all these people…and i wish i was a big enough ass to just spill it..cuz it would make things so much easier for me… but i can’t……

anyways things will change in the new year.

i’m down to live.

who the heck wants access to my blog?

err so apparently someone is trying to gain access to my blog…i’ve got multiple emails from blogger that someone has requested my password and has tried to get it…what gives?

it’s just a blog…

yikes…weird…

raisin ass

gotta be funny when you’re typing for someone else…another reason why i’m not one of those people that sit in the courtroom and type out the entire dialogue that goes on….cuz stuff like “raisin ass” happens.

oh well it worked out okay in the end…wasn’t a fatal mistake or anything to that sorts.

just tell it to me like it is…and make sure i understand haha or else it’ll become skewed in my head and end up being recorded as “raisin ass”

aiy…goodness gracious great balls of fire.

—

“if it only knew how much it hurt. it might just change things. however it doesn’t at the moment and so things are kind of bumpy. now in the end the true colours will show in the final product. the masterpiece will wash away and it’ll be just watercolours. some sort of starry night rendition of what’s really there. that’d be blurred”

errr…what the heck does that mean? ^

please elaborate next time…and be less obscure….then maybe i could respond. thanks.