Reverb

it’s all a sham

so today was a nice day. a nice day to just lay back and relax.

… wait a minute … that’s like every day off i get. scratch what i just wrote.

so after a year and a half i finally decided to replace my cracked headphones, i put my sony giftcard to great use. i would have preferred to buy a nice pair of audio technica phones but sony’s nice and cheap and when it comes to gift cards… that is something you must settle with.

i realized i have absolutely no control over my body. it awakes when it wants, and when i attempt to tell it to go back to sleep it tells me “screw you” or it’ll play along and give me my way … i’ll get to sleep for another hour … but when i awake again it’s my body that’s laughing “haha you slept for an hour but that sleep was useless you’re not any more rested than you were an hour ago MUAHAHA”

yes and now my body is laughing at me because i’ve been trying to go to sleep instead. i’m at the mercy of my biological workings. stupid body.

so as part of my daily ponderings, once again i come across the same musings. why is it so difficult for people to realize it’s okay to just speak their intentions. it’s okay to say “no” when someone asks you for something. it’s okay to say “i don’t want to”. it’s okay to not want to do something. because of this we end up with lethal doses of uncertainty. everyone’s on pause because of everyone’s actions and reactions. it’s never a “yes i want to” or “no i don’t” it’s a “i’ll think about it”.

where does that get us? we all know it means “no” if you wanted to it would be “yes” why can’t you just make it clear? things would be simpler, faster, and you’d have more time in your day to enjoy everything.

i think i’ve found the answer…people are retardedly selfish. it’s the whole “i’m not comitting to anything until the last minute when i have to.”

i suppose this is a natural urge, however you would expect in this day and age people realizing the value of being opinionated and decisive.

i guess that’s what is seperating so many people into their own little cliques.

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on another note…

it’s funny how fake reputation travels so much farther than the real thing. i suppose it’s the whole fabricated reputation sounds so much grander. i noticed this at work, it’s funny how some people just know your name. the administrative assistant that gives you that knowing nod and wink. “what?” is all you can think. you know what they’re hinting at. your reputation exceeds so far that it’s wrapped back around the curvature of time and is now tapping you on the shoulder. but what exactly is your reputation? no one says, you certainly don’t know, no one else seems to know either….however…people know. *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* know what i mean? it’s as clear as the ambiguous drink that seems to pour forth from the water cooler that never runs out by “bob’s” desk.

know what i mean? see you at the meeting bob *wink*