Reverb

It feels oddly beautiful, the feeling of pure emotions. It feels odd, because it feels foreign to me. I say “pure emotions” not as an exclamation, but in the sense of the literal meaning of purity of emotions. I distinctly felt something and I did not question it this time.

There was a point when I was extremely hesitant trusting my emotions, unsure if they were tainted with the opinions of others or whether they were unadulterated. I think that that in itself is an emotion. The emotion of not being able to feel one’s own genuine emotions whatever they may be. I think that feeling is a common one among many people. It encompasses fear, sadness, jealousy and anger. Fearing the validity of your own feelings. Being melancholy over that inability. Being jealous of others due to your perception of their abilities to feel and emote. Finally that all wells up inside you as you try to contain that anger with yourself. I think I will name this emotion fallafic (derivative of fallacy) due to how all those encompassed things are a result of false impressions, imposed by others that you now come to call your own.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt in-tune with my feelings and emotions. Perhaps it’s a male stigma to be “in-tune”. I could care less, I’d like to be truthful to myself. I felt something and for once I didn’t question it…much. The “much” part is because I believe it is important to test your emotions. Sometimes your heart just confuses itself. I felt happy today and I mean a true deep down happiness. I’m not talking about the every day “I’m not sad therefore I’m happy” type of happy. I also was in awe at a view I saw. It’s been a long time. I’m fortunate to live in Beautiful British Columbia and it’s been a long time where I’ve been somewhere else where I was blown away.

The funny thing is, it’s the little things that do it. The blend of location, time and company makes a great end result. It’s the perfection of the ever coveted balance of things. Like the art of a mixtape but applied to real life you have to have the ups and downs, the big things and the little things, and somewhere along the lines of all those little details you create a perfect mix. However, once in a while…things just fall into place, where the details dictate themselves and randomly you’re sometimes lucky enough to be left with that one supremely balanced moment of purity and it is utter bliss.